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Anger

Rage, irritation, when to act on it and when not to.

“Tell me about a time anger taught you something — or cost you something. What did you learn from it?”

Read the chapter: The fire that turns inward →Reflect on angerSpeak with the book

Facets

The angles anger keeps showing up at, across thousands of years.

Anger as self-destruction

Anger, hatred, and wrath harm the one who harbors them far more than any external enemy.

12 passages · 4 traditions

+ 6 more in this facet →

The slow-burning mind

Restraining anger through patience, self-mastery, and returning quickly to inner calm is the mark of wisdom.

10 passages · 6 traditions

  • Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

    — Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, James.James 1:19-20, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611 ↗

  • Whensoever by some present hard occurrences thou art constrained to be in some sort troubled and vexed, return unto thyself as soon as may be, and be not out of tune longer than thou must needs. For so shalt thou be the better able to keep thy part another time, and to maintain the harmony, if thou dost use thyself to this continually; once out, presently to have recourse unto it, and to begin again.

    — Stoicism · Meditations, 6.IX, tr. George Long, 1862 ↗

  • Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

    — Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Ecclesiastes.Ecclesiastes 7:8-9, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611 ↗

  • There are four kinds of temperaments: Easy to become angry, and easy to be appeased: his gain disappears in his loss; Hard to become angry, and hard to be appeased: his loss disappears in his gain; Hard to become angry and easy to be appeased: a pious person; Easy to become angry and hard to be appeased: a wicked person.

    — Rabbinic Judaism · Pirkei Avot, 5.5:11, tr. Sefaria (CC-BY), 2024 ↗

  • When he is angry, he thinks of the difficulties (his anger may involve him in). When he sees gain to be got, he thinks of righteousness.

    — Confucianism · Analects, 16.10, tr. James Legge, 1893 ↗

  • But, as often as the heart Breaks--wild and wavering--from control, so oft Let him re-curb it, let him rein it back To the soul's governance

    — Hinduism · Bhagavad Gita, 5.Chapter 5, mid-passage, tr. Edwin Arnold, 1885 ↗

+ 4 more in this facet →

Meeting hostility with gentleness

Responding to anger, insult, or opposition with calm, kind speech disarms conflict rather than escalating it.

11 passages · 3 traditions

+ 5 more in this facet →

Not becoming what hurt you

The highest response to being wronged is refusing to mirror the wrongdoer's hatred or cruelty.

7 passages · 4 traditions

  • The best kind of revenge is, not to become like unto them.

    — Stoicism · Meditations, 6.V, tr. George Long, 1862 ↗

  • Who troubleth not his kind, And is not troubled by them; clear of wrath, Living too high for gladness, grief, or fear, That man I love!

    — Hinduism · Bhagavad Gita, 11.Chapter 12, later, tr. Edwin Arnold, 1885 ↗

  • Not to blame, not to strike, to live restrained under the law, to be moderate in eating, to sleep and sit alone, and to dwell on the highest thoughts,--this is the teaching of the Awakened.

    — Buddhism · Dhammapada, 14.v.185, tr. F. Max Müller, 1881 ↗

  • Of my grandfather Verus I have learned to be gentle and meek, and to refrain from all anger and passion. From the fame and memory of him that begot me I have learned both shamefastness and manlike behaviour. Of my mother I have learned to be religious, and bountiful; and to forbear, not only to do, but to intend any evil; to content myself with a spare diet, and to fly all such excess as is incidental to great wealth.

    — Stoicism · Meditations, 1.I, tr. George Long, 1862 ↗

  • We are all born to be fellow-workers, as the feet, the hands, and the eyelids; as the rows of the upper and under teeth: for such therefore to be in opposition, is against nature; and what is it to chafe at, and to be averse from, but to be in opposition?

    — Stoicism · Meditations, 1.XV, tr. George Long, 1862 ↗

  • He did not transfer his anger; he did not repeat a fault.

    — Confucianism · Analects, 6.2, tr. James Legge, 1893 ↗

+ 1 more in this facet →

Anger's mark on character

How a person handles anger—whether quick to rage or slow to forgive—reveals the quality of their soul.

8 passages · 5 traditions

  • Fine words, an insinuating appearance, and excessive respect — Tso Ch'iu-ming was ashamed of them. I also am ashamed of them. To conceal resentment against a person, and appear friendly with him — Tso Ch'iu-ming was ashamed of such conduct. I also am ashamed of it.

    — Confucianism · Analects, 5.24, tr. James Legge, 1893 ↗

  • Specious words confound virtue. Want of forbearance in small matters confounds great plans.

    — Confucianism · Analects, 15.26, tr. James Legge, 1893 ↗

  • His manner was, never to wonder at anything; never to be in haste, and yet never slow: nor to be perplexed, or dejected, or at any time unseemly, or excessively to laugh: nor to be angry, or suspicious, but ever ready to do good, and to forgive, and to speak truth; and all this, as one that seemed rather of himself to have been straight and right, than ever to have been rectified or redressed.

    — Stoicism · Meditations, 1.XII, tr. George Long, 1862 ↗

  • Let the honor of your friend be as dear to you as your own; And be not easily provoked to anger; And repent one day before your death.

    — Rabbinic Judaism · Pirkei Avot, 2.2:10, tr. Sefaria (CC-BY), 2024 ↗

  • Deceitfulness, and arrogance, and pride, / Quickness to anger, harsh and evil speech, / And ignorance, to its own darkness blind,-- / These be the signs, My Prince! of him whose birth / Is fated for the regions of the vile.

    — Hinduism · Bhagavad Gita, 15.XVI, early, tr. Edwin Arnold, 1885 ↗

  • Keep thyself to the first bare and naked apprehensions of things, as they present themselves unto thee, and add not unto them. It is reported unto thee, that such a one speaketh ill of thee. Well; that he speaketh ill of thee, so much is reported. But that thou art hurt thereby, is not reported: that is the addition of opinion, which thou must exclude.

    — Stoicism · Meditations, 8.XLVII, tr. George Long, 1862 ↗

+ 2 more in this facet →
  • To put the people to death without having instructed them;-- this is called cruelty. To require from them, suddenly, the full tale of work, without having given them warning;-- this is called oppression. To issue orders as if without urgency, at first, and, when the time comes, to insist on them with severity;-- this is called injury.

    — Confucianism · Analects, 20.2.3, tr. James Legge, 1893 ↗

  • And Dhoulnoun; when he went on his way in anger, and thought that we had no power over him. But in the darkness he cried "There is no God but thou: Glory be unto Thee! Verily, I have been one of the evil doers:" So we heard him and rescued him from misery: for thus rescue we the faithful.

    — Qur’an · Qur'an, 21.21:87-88, tr. J. M. Rodwell, 1861 ↗