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Endings

Goodbyes, losses, the closing of chapters.

Describe an ending you handled well — or one you wish you had handled better. What do you know now?

Facets

The angles endings keeps showing up at, across thousands of years.

Life's brevity, time's passage

Every life is short, every moment fleeting, and awareness of this should shape how we live.

18 passages · 3 traditions

  • To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Ecclesiastes.Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • Remember withal that no man properly can be said to live more than that which is now present, which is but a moment of time. Whatsoever is besides either is already past, or uncertain. The time therefore that any man doth live, is but a little, and the place where he liveth, is but a very little corner of the earth, and the greatest fame that can remain of a man after his death, even that is but little.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 3.X, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Thou must hasten therefore; not only because thou art every day nearer unto death than other, but also because that intellective faculty in thee, whereby thou art enabled to know the true nature of things, and to order all thy actions by that knowledge, doth daily waste and decay: or, may fail thee before thou die.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 3.I, tr. George Long, 1862

  • This life is short. Both he that praiseth, and he that is praised; he that remembers, and he that is remembered, will soon be dust and ashes. Besides, it is but in one corner of this part of the world that thou art praised; and yet in this corner, thou hast not the joint praises of all men; no nor scarce of any one constantly. And yet the whole earth itself, what is it but as one point, in regard of the whole world?

    Stoicism · Meditations, 8.XIX, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Dost thou grieve that thou dost weigh but so many pounds, and not three hundred rather? Just as much reason hast thou to grieve that thou must live but so many years, and not longer. For as for bulk and substance thou dost content thyself with that proportion of it that is allotted unto thee, so shouldst thou for time.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 6.XLIV, tr. George Long, 1862

  • At five years of age the study of Scripture; At ten the study of Mishnah; At thirteen subject to the commandments; At fifteen the study of Talmud; At eighteen the bridal canopy; At twenty for pursuit [of livelihood]; At thirty the peak of strength; At forty wisdom; At fifty able to give counsel; At sixty old age; At seventy fullness of years; At eighty the age of "strength"; At ninety a bent body; At one hundred, as good as dead and gone completely out of the world.

    Rabbinic Judaism · Pirkei Avot, 5.5:21, tr. Sefaria (CC-BY), 2024

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  • Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble. He cometh forth like a flower, and is cut down: he fleeth also as a shadow, and continueth not.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Job.Job 14:1-2, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, James.James 4:14, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • Not as though thou hadst thousands of years to live. Death hangs over thee: whilst yet thou livest, whilst thou mayest, be good.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 4.XIV, tr. George Long, 1862

  • So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Psalms.Psalms 90:12, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Ecclesiastes.Ecclesiastes 9:10, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • Thou shalt do; if thou shalt go about every action as thy last action, free from all vanity, all passionate and wilful aberration from reason, and from all hypocrisy, and self-love, and dislike of those things, which by the fates or appointment of God have happened unto thee.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 2.II, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Be not deceived; for thou shalt never live to read thy moral commentaries, nor the acts of the famous Romans and Grecians; nor those excerpta from several books; all which thou hadst provided and laid up for thyself against thine old age. Hasten therefore to an end, and giving over all vain hopes, help thyself in time if thou carest for thyself, as thou oughtest to do.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 3.XV, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Then hath a man attained to the estate of perfection in his life and conversation, when he so spends every day, as if it were his last day: never hot and vehement in his affections, nor yet so cold and stupid as one that had no sense; and free from all manner of dissimulation.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 7.XL, tr. George Long, 1862

  • If thou shouldst live three thousand, or as many as ten thousands of years, yet remember this, that man can part with no life properly, save with that little part of life, which he now lives: and that which he lives, is no other, than that which at every instant he parts with.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 2.XII, tr. George Long, 1862

  • The time of a man's life is as a point; the substance of it ever flowing, the sense obscure; and the whole composition of the body tending to corruption. His soul is restless, fortune uncertain, and fame doubtful; to be brief, as a stream so are all things belonging to the body; as a dream, or as a smoke, so are all that belong unto the soul. Our life is a warfare, and a mere pilgrimage. Fame after life is no better than oblivion. What is it then that will adhere and follow? Only one thing, philosophy.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 2.XV, tr. George Long, 1862

  • The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Psalms.Psalms 90:10, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Proverbs.Proverbs 27:1, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

Death as nature's appointment

Death is not an enemy but an inevitable, natural transition woven into the order of existence.

22 passages · 7 traditions

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  • Thou must not in matter of death carry thyself scornfully, but as one that is well pleased with it, as being one of those things that nature hath appointed. For what thou dost conceive of these, of a boy to become a young man, to wax old, to grow, to ripen, to get teeth, or a beard, or grey hairs to beget, to bear, or to be delivered; or what other action soever it be, that is natural unto man according to the several seasons of his life; such a thing is it also to be dissolved.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 9.III, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Sons are no help, nor a father, nor relations; there is no help from kinsfolk for one whom death has seized.

    Buddhism · Dhammapada, 20.v.288, tr. F. Max Müller, 1881

  • When things have attained their strong maturity they become old. This may be said to be not in accordance with the Tao: and what is not in accordance with it soon comes to an end.

    Taoism · Tao Te Ching, 25-32.30, tr. James Legge, 1891

  • Verily, we cause to live, and we cause to die. To us shall all return.

    Qur’an · Qur'an, 50.50:43, tr. J. M. Rodwell, 1861

  • Man at his birth is supple and weak; at his death, firm and strong. (So it is with) all things. Trees and plants, in their early growth, are soft and brittle; at their death, dry and withered. Thus it is that firmness and strength are the concomitants of death; softness and weakness, the concomitants of life.

    Taoism · Tao Te Ching, 73-80.76, tr. James Legge, 1891

  • Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Job.Job 1:21, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to be never; Never was time it was not; End and Beginning are dreams! Birthless and deathless and changeless remaineth the spirit for ever; Death hath not touched it at all, dead though the house of it seems!

    Hinduism · Bhagavad Gita, 1.Chapter II, the deathlessness of the spirit, tr. Edwin Arnold, 1885

  • Not in the sky, not in the midst of the sea, not if we enter into the clefts of the mountains, is there known a spot in the whole world where death could not overcome (the mortal).

    Buddhism · Dhammapada, 9.v.128, tr. F. Max Müller, 1881

  • The end of birth is death; the end of death Is birth: this is ordained! and mournest thou, Chief of the stalwart arm! for what befalls Which could not otherwise befall?

    Hinduism · Bhagavad Gita, 1.Chapter II, birth and death ordained, tr. Edwin Arnold, 1885

  • Death is a cessation from the impression of the senses, the tyranny of the passions, the errors of the mind, and the servitude of the body.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 6.XXVI, tr. George Long, 1862

  • I am the Spirit seated deep in every creature's heart; From Me they come; by Me they live; at My word they depart!

    Hinduism · Bhagavad Gita, 9.Chapter X, middle section (Krishna's self-disclosure), tr. Edwin Arnold, 1885

  • Thou must comfort thyself in the expectation of thy natural dissolution, and in the meantime not grieve at the delay; but rest contented in those two things. First, that nothing shall happen unto thee, which is not according to the nature of the universe. Secondly, that it is in thy power, to do nothing against thine own proper God, and inward spirit.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 5.X, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Give what thou wilt, and take away what thou wilt, saith he that is well taught and truly modest, to Him that gives, and takes away. And it is not out of a stout and peremptory resolution, that he saith it, but in mere love, and humble submission.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 10.XVI, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Heaven is long-enduring and earth continues long. The reason why heaven and earth are able to endure and continue thus long is because they do not live of, or for, themselves. This is how they are able to continue and endure.

    Taoism · Tao Te Ching, 1-8.7, tr. James Legge, 1891

  • The people make light of dying because of the greatness of their labours in seeking for the means of living. It is this which makes them think light of dying. Thus it is that to leave the subject of living altogether out of view is better than to set a high value on it.

    Taoism · Tao Te Ching, 73-80.75, tr. James Legge, 1891

  • All on the earth shall pass away, But the face of thy Lord shall abide resplendent with majesty and glory.

    Qur’an · Qur'an, 55.55:26-27, tr. J. M. Rodwell, 1861

What we carry out of this world

Wealth, fame, and pleasure dissolve at death; only character, virtue, and deeds endure.

15 passages · 6 traditions

  • Part with the food. From of old, death has been the lot of all men; but if the people have no faith in their rulers, there is no standing for the state.

    Confucianism · Analects, 12.7, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • If a man in the morning hear the right way, he may die in the evening without regret.

    Confucianism · Analects, 4.8, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • The officer may not be without breadth of mind and vigorous endurance. His burden is heavy and his course is long. Perfect virtue is the burden which he considers it is his to sustain;-- is it not heavy? Only with death does his course stop;-- is it not long?

    Confucianism · Analects, 8.7, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • Upon every action that thou art about, put this question to thyself; How will this when it is done agree with me? Shall I have no occasion to repent of it? Yet a very little while and I am dead and gone; and all things are at end. What then do I care for more than this, that my present action whatsoever it be, may be the proper action of one that is reasonable.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 8.II, tr. George Long, 1862

  • The duke Ching of Ch'i had a thousand teams, each of four horses, but on the day of his death, the people did not praise him for a single virtue. Po-i and Shu-ch'i died of hunger at the foot of the Shau-yang mountain, and the people, down to the present time, praise them.

    Confucianism · Analects, 16.12, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • With sincere faith he unites the love of learning; holding firm to death, he is perfecting the excellence of his course.

    Confucianism · Analects, 8.13, tr. James Legge, 1893

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Mourning and the rites of grief

How we grieve — with proper sorrow, ritual, and restraint — marks our respect for those lost.

16 passages · 5 traditions

  • He sacrificed to the dead, as if they were present. He sacrificed to the spirits, as if the spirits were present. The Master said, 'I consider my not being present at the sacrifice, as if I did not sacrifice.'

    Confucianism · Analects, 3.12, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • From Apollonius, true liberty, and unvariable steadfastness, and not to regard anything at all, though never so little, but right and reason: and always, whether in the sharpest pains, or after the loss of a child, or in long diseases, to be still the same man.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 1.V, tr. George Long, 1862

  • When any of his friends died, if he had no relations who could be depended on for the necessary offices, he would say, 'I will bury him.'

    Confucianism · Analects, 10.15, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • A superior man, during the whole period of mourning, does not enjoy pleasant food which he may eat, nor derive pleasure from music which he may hear. He also does not feel at ease, if he is comfortably lodged.

    Confucianism · Analects, 17.21, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • The Kwan Tsu is expressive of enjoyment without being licentious, and of grief without being hurtfully excessive.

    Confucianism · Analects, 3.20, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • It is not till a child is three years old that it is allowed to leave the arms of its parents. And the three years' mourning is universally observed throughout the empire. Did Yu enjoy the three years' love of his parents?

    Confucianism · Analects, 17.21, tr. James Legge, 1893

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  • So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Job.Job 2:13, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

  • High station filled without indulgent generosity; ceremonies performed without reverence; mourning conducted without sorrow;-- wherewith should I contemplate such ways?

    Confucianism · Analects, 3.26, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • 'As often as a father kisseth his child, he should say secretly with himself' (said Epictetus,) 'tomorrow perchance shall he die.' But these words be ominous. No words ominous (said he) that signify anything that is natural.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 11.XXX, tr. George Long, 1862

  • They are, in regard to the aged, to give them rest; in regard to friends, to show them sincerity; in regard to the young, to treat them tenderly.

    Confucianism · Analects, 5.25, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • 'Is it excessive?' said he. 'If I am not to mourn bitterly for this man, for whom should I mourn?'

    Confucianism · Analects, 11.9, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • Do not try to appease your friend during his hour of anger; Nor comfort him at the hour while his dead still lies before him; Nor question him at the hour of his vow; Nor strive to see him in the hour of his disgrace.

    Rabbinic Judaism · Pirkei Avot, 4.4:18, tr. Sefaria (CC-BY), 2024

  • In festive ceremonies, it is better to be sparing than extravagant. In the ceremonies of mourning, it is better that there be deep sorrow than a minute attention to observances.

    Confucianism · Analects, 3.4, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • When he saw any one in a mourning dress, though it might be an acquaintance, he would change countenance; when he saw any one wearing the cap of full dress, or a blind person, though he might be in his undress, he would salute them in a ceremonious manner.

    Confucianism · Analects, 10.16, tr. James Legge, 1893

  • He who has killed multitudes of men should weep for them with the bitterest grief; and the victor in battle has his place (rightly) according to those rites.

    Taoism · Tao Te Ching, 25-32.31, tr. James Legge, 1891

  • Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

    Hebrew & Christian Bible · Bible, Psalms.Psalms 23:4, tr. King James Version (1611/1769), 1611

Presence in the face of ending

Knowing life ends soon calls us to act fully, love honestly, and release attachment without delay.

20 passages · 3 traditions

  • Let death surprise me when it will, and where it will, I may be εὔμοιρος, or a happy man, nevertheless. For he is a happy man, who in his lifetime dealeth unto himself a happy lot and portion. A happy lot and portion is, good inclinations of the soul, good desires, good actions.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 5.XXX, tr. George Long, 1862

  • Men who have not observed proper discipline, and have not gained treasure in their youth, lie, like broken bows, sighing after the past.

    Buddhism · Dhammapada, 11.v.156, tr. F. Max Müller, 1881

  • Let, therefore, no man love anything; loss of the beloved is evil. Those who love nothing and hate nothing, have no fetters.

    Buddhism · Dhammapada, 16.v.211, tr. F. Max Müller, 1881

  • The world does not know that we must all come to an end here;--but those who know it, their quarrels cease at once.

    Buddhism · Dhammapada, 1.v.6, tr. F. Max Müller, 1881

  • Look upon the world as a bubble, look upon it as a mirage: the king of death does not see him who thus looks down upon the world.

    Buddhism · Dhammapada, 13.v.170, tr. F. Max Müller, 1881

  • In the mind that is once truly disciplined and purged, thou canst not find anything, either foul or impure, or as it were festered: nothing that is either servile, or affected: no partial tie; no malicious averseness; nothing obnoxious; nothing concealed. The life of such an one, death can never surprise as imperfect; as of an actor, that should die before he had ended, or the play itself were at an end, a man might speak.

    Stoicism · Meditations, 3.IX, tr. George Long, 1862

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The soul that outlasts the body

Beneath mortal endings lies something changeless — a self, spirit, or peace that death cannot touch.

14 passages · 3 traditions

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